The Booty Don’t Stop, or why I love squats.

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Air squats are my go to exercise. I love them.  Now, I don’t always love doing them but I love the results.  If you know me you may just write it off as something to do with my love affair with my booty (which is still going strong and I say prayers of thanks to JLo on the regs for giving the boo-tay the mainstream acceptance and glorification it deserves). As much as I love how squats shape and sculpt the generous portion of love given to my backside (love=muscle + some fat to make it soft) it’s more than that.

Squats make my knees feel better.  WHAT!??! You say?  But JoJo, doing squats are bad for knees.  You are wrong.  But it’s not really your fault, you’ve probably been doing them wrong for a long time and perhaps some misguided professional has directed you to do them wrong and it’s caused issues in your punkin’ knees.  Bad squats are bad for your knees.  Good squats strengthen the tendons and muscles that balance and help your knees.  To do a good squat you need to go deep enough that your hip crease goes below parallel to your knees.  Yes, that deep.  Here’s some science about it: Powerlifters squatting double their body weight, to depths of 130 degrees of knee flexion, have been shown in studies to have more stable knee joints than individuals who do not squat. In fact, separate studies have revealed that the knees of those who regularly squat deep are more stable than distance runners and basketball players. In one study of female volleyball players, researchers concluded that there was no statistically significant increase in peak forces at the knee when squatting to depths of 70, 90, and 110 degrees of knee flexion. And another study showed that forces on the ACL are reduced as the knee is flexed beyond 60 degrees, and forces on the PCL are reduced as the knee flexes past 120 degrees. Still further studies show that powerlifters who are squatting over twice their body weight experience shearing forces on the knee that approximate only 25% of the maximal tensile strength of the ACL, and 50% of the maximum strength of the PCL.  When you go below parallel the force moves from being concentrated in your quads (front leg muscles) and your knee joint to sharing the load (ahem, you) with your hamstrings (muscles on back of legs) and glutes.

Squats strengthen and protect my hip joints or as I like to say “Squat for independence!” Squatting is something you do all the time.  Every time you go to the bathroom you have to do a squat to get down.  If you’ve been doing some good squatting you don’t need to put your hand on the sink to help you up.  You’re strong enough to do it yourself.  You’re able to go to the bathroom independently.  Don’t take it for granted. A lot of people can’t and when it gets to that point you don’t get to live alone anymore, or with your fam.  They love you but they ain’t willing to help with that.  And, really, do you want them to have to?  Hells no.  You a grown ass person, you can take care of it but you have to stay strong to do it.  Never stop squatting.

Finally, they make me bootylicious.  Or more bootylicious.  I’m lucky, my genetics have given me the advantage of being muscular and somehow these same genes have given me a great ass.  Seriously, my family doesn’t know where it came from because most of them don’t have anything and lots of them are practically concave.  Squats make your tuckus high and tight. Squats help make your booty round like it’s a pair of cupcakes stuck on top of your legs.  Mmmmmm cupcakes.

And because I love this and you probably haven’t heard it:

The first 3 people who come up to me and sing “I wanna tap it like a phone” gets a prize.

 

 

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One Response to “The Booty Don’t Stop, or why I love squats.”

  1. abby July 24, 2013 at 11:38 am #

    Great post, Joye! Hilarious and informative, what more could we ask for??

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