Well, most sugars. In January 2014 I stopped eating added sugar and the only kind of sugar I eat
Why yes, I will EAT-IT-ALL
is from fruit, sometimes some honey. I try and keep down the amount of honey because, though it has other benefits, it’s still sugar. I started my sugar free life with the 6 week nutrition challenge that I did but have kept this part going with the goal of doing it for a year. It wasn’t until I was 5 months in that I didn’t think about candy or soft serve every day. Month 5, people. That my friends is a serious sugar addiction. But what I realized is that I mostly craved/thought about sugar when one of two things were happening: 1. habit. If I’m at X restaurant I always eat X dessert. or 2. stress, ie “I’ve had a really hard day I deserve a treat.” That’s it. My body hasn’t demanded it, I haven’t gone into with drawl. There doesn’t seem to be much need for my body to have it. There have been a few times I felt like I was being punished and I questioned why I had chosen to do this so strictly-I mean, why not just 1 treat a month?
So, why did I decide to do this at all? When I am in the throws of eating sugar (re: consuming 8 fun size candy bars in 5 minutes) my mind is so focused on getting more more more that I feel completely out of control. After the 6 week challenge, I didn’t feel out of control so I decided to continue on since this was what I always wished for: feeling in control.
I don’t know what I’ll do after the year. I really do get a lot of pleasure and enjoyment out of eating soft serve ice cream. I close my eyes when it touches my lips and I truly relish in it. My fear is if I have it I will not be able to stop and then will be having pints (those are single servings to me) and be elbows deep in sugar not knowing how I got there. This, of course, is not as probable as my fear monster would have be believe but it does feel all or nothing to me.
I would like to be able to enjoy those things I love so much but have them for the true enjoyment-not for reward or habit-and not be consumed with the idea of getting more asap. I don’t know if that will mean hard rules around it or if I’ll be able to have the relationship around sugar that will still leave me level headed. I have had 2 sugar treats/cheats in the 9 months: ice cream on the day we got legally married in Washington State and dessert on our anniversary. I was happy that though both were good, they weren’t “all that.” They weren’t the blissful Nirvana I expected to experience. They weren’t sickly sweet tasting as I secretly hoped to turn me off from the whole thing but I was happy that the next day I wasn’t thinking about having more. It was just a sort of “oh that was a nice treat.” Not a “that was amazing, how do I get more? Where could I stop to get more on the way home?” So, perhaps there is hope for me and ice cream to lead a life of enjoyment without the crazy sugar-fueled feelings.
What is your vice? How do you manage those things that you enjoy but need some framework for moderation?
Spectacular job, Sunshine. Loved reading about it. You can do whatever you put your mind to..