Well, most sugars. In January 2014 I stopped eating added sugar and the only kind of sugar I eat
is from fruit, sometimes some honey. I try and keep down the amount of honey because, though it has other benefits, it’s still sugar. I started my sugar free life with the 6 week nutrition challenge that I did but have kept this part going with the goal of doing it for a year. It wasn’t until I was 5 months in that I didn’t think about candy or soft serve every day. Month 5, people. That my friends is a serious sugar addiction. But what I realized is that I mostly craved/thought about sugar when one of two things were happening: 1. habit. If I’m at X restaurant I always eat X dessert. or 2. stress, ie “I’ve had a really hard day I deserve a treat.” That’s it. My body hasn’t demanded it, I haven’t gone into with drawl. There doesn’t seem to be much need for my body to have it. There have been a few times I felt like I was being punished and I questioned why I had chosen to do this so strictly-I mean, why not just 1 treat a month?
So, why did I decide to do this at all? When I am in the throws of eating sugar (re: consuming 8 fun size candy bars in 5 minutes) my mind is so focused on getting more more more that I feel completely out of control. After the 6 week challenge, I didn’t feel out of control so I decided to continue on since this was what I always wished for: feeling in control.
I don’t know what I’ll do after the year. I really do get a lot of pleasure and enjoyment out of eating soft serve ice cream. I close my eyes when it touches my lips and I truly relish in it. My fear is if I have it I will not be able to stop and then will be having pints (those are single servings to me) and be elbows deep in sugar not knowing how I got there. This, of course, is not as probable as my fear monster would have be believe but it does feel all or nothing to me.
I would like to be able to enjoy those things I love so much but have them for the true enjoyment-not for reward or habit-and not be consumed with the idea of getting more asap. I don’t know if that will mean hard rules around it or if I’ll be able to have the relationship around sugar that will still leave me level headed. I have had 2 sugar treats/cheats in the 9 months: ice cream on the day we got legally married in Washington State and dessert on our anniversary. I was happy that though both were good, they weren’t “all that.” They weren’t the blissful Nirvana I expected to experience. They weren’t sickly sweet tasting as I secretly hoped to turn me off from the whole thing but I was happy that the next day I wasn’t thinking about having more. It was just a sort of “oh that was a nice treat.” Not a “that was amazing, how do I get more? Where could I stop to get more on the way home?” So, perhaps there is hope for me and ice cream to lead a life of enjoyment without the crazy sugar-fueled feelings.
What is your vice? How do you manage those things that you enjoy but need some framework for moderation?